At first, i told myself, i'd rather go to bars (which i truly hated) instead of chatting with a stranger... but i got quite desperate as i can't even find true and honest people to be friends in the office, in my health club, in my social group and in school... so i tried forums. What are my reasons for dating online?
1. though there is more likelihood that a person you are chatting with is a fraud, you can figure out inconsistencies in his/her chat / email messages in a few days after asking good questions... so less risk. 2. i wouldn't want to spend my money dating someone i couldn't possibly like. i was referred to a guy before... was told he is cute and nice but when i talked to him on our date, it was as boring as hell and he's not quite smart at all... of course my friend overrated him. so if i asked critical questions during chat messages and the guy is able to answer quite smartly, i'd be interested... ill give him a skype call or gtalk call if i want to check more. 3. I am terribly judgmental and i really assess a person's intentions and some guys who are confronted with these things right away get turned off... well who wants to waste time with that? 4. I don't have to dress up nicely
Bennychan wrote:1. though there is more likelihood that a person you are chatting with is a fraud, you can figure out inconsistencies in his/her chat / email messages in a few days after asking good questions... so less risk.
I agree with all that Benny. I think you have to talk or chat though because people can give a seemingly credible response. I used to be desperate myself. But I focused on what I wanted in a girl, and my value proposition (my character) and decided to portray myself that way and women started appearing. After a heated phone chat the first date revealed a psychologically vulnerable woman, but I did enjoy the date because I learned about a person. What I didn't want. The next girl was a gold mine! :) Chat is best on Gmail because you have a history you can search, so you can have arguments and know who was right, check integrity, etc. Unlike email they don't have a chance to lie, to cover up, etc.
A lot of studies on online communication have proven that people are most likely to lie or "mask the truth" when communicating through email and chat compared to person to person or phone conversation. I tend to agree. Because when you send an email, you are more likely to carefully choose your words and be more tactful. But person to person conversations expose hidden cues like body movements and phone calls expose the tone of voice.
Even in the work place, bosses tend to be more comfortable addressing employee concerns through emails as it's more impersonal.
